Juliet Was Wrong

In William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, Juliet shoots off about how you could call a rose anything, and it would still smell sweet. Scientifically, she is right: changing the name of an object will not change its physical characteristics. Still, I think names are important. I'd trust a kid named "Fred" long before I'd trust one named "Nicholas." Think about it. Juliet didn't know what she was talking about.

Anyway, my point in rhapsodizing about names is to announce my latest purchase. After months of fruitlessly trolling for deals in the vast pond of Craiglist, I finally landed a whopper of a mountain bike. For a mere $80 I purchases a Trek 800 Sport.

My bike and me...without a head. Sorry folks. I used a short stump for a tripod.

The bike and I have become good friends, even though it has already tried to kill me twice (hitting the local mountain bike trails without experience or a helmet is a BAD IDEA). Sarah, in fact, is already calling the bike "The Other Woman" because of the time I spend with it. So far, however, I am calling the bike nothing but "my bike"--which I admit is kind of dull.

In the past I have always named my cars, so I have been toying with the idea of naming my bike. Just for fun, here's a record of my past cars and their names:

1. "Jug" (1987 Toyota Tercel)--A great car until I totaled it one Novemeber night in 1997. I called it "Jug" because it was shaped like a jug.


2. "Rose-of-Sharon" (199? Dodge Shadow)--Another great car. It was red and chicks seemed to dig that. It lacked a stereo, but it made up for it in...personality? Anyway, I named it after Tom Joad's sister in The Grapes of Wrath. It wasn't until later that I learned that the name "Rose-of-Sharon" comes from the Song of Solomon.


3. "Fergus" (1994 Saturn SR2)--This car gave me a lot of grief, but I was driving it when I met my wife. It is also the only car I've ever been pulled over in. It used to always break down in Draper, Utah. Anyway, I named it after the legendary Irish king who gave up the throne to pursue a life of poetry. W. B. Yeats wrote a poem called "Who Goes With Fergus?", and I always used to quip that I did whenever I went somewhere in my car. True story. And then I found five bucks.

Oddly enough, the car I drive right now doesn't have a name. It actually belongs to my wife, though, so I've never felt at liberty to name it. If I did name it, though, I'd probably call it "Norrin"--you know, after the Silver Surfer.

So, here are my thoughts on bike names. Tell me what you think.

1. Gibralter (after the rock)
2. Traveller (after Robert E. Lee's famous horse...but I don't want you thinking I'm a neo-Confederate, because I'm not. I just think its a cool name)
3. Fenimore (because Hawkeye, Deerslayer, and Bumpo don't really sound bike-ish to me)
4. Trigger (after the Lone Ranger's horse)
5. Beuntoyou (because I want to say "Wo Beuntoyou!")
6. Spokes (because it sounds like a cool Sidekick name)
7. Crap (after the first thing I said when I nearly crashed it for the first time)
8. Wade (after the first ghost I ever met)
9. Abra (another Steinbeck literary allusion...let's see who knows their stuff)
10. Rose-of-Sharon II (after the Shadow)

I'm also open to any suggestions. Let me know what you think.

My bike and the car with no name.